Monthly Archives:August 2012

My conversation with my counselor went something like this:

“I feel like I’m chasing after him. It’s like I’m trying to convince him that I’m worth loving.”

“What do you think will happen if you stop?”

“I’ll lose him”

“Stop anyway.”

God knows I did my best to keep my husband from walking away from me, his children, his home. I cannot count the nights I had lain awake crafting to perfection the words I might use to help him see that his choices and behavior were tearing up our marriage and our family. Or the number of times I confronted him with hurtful evidence of moral failures that were chipping away at the foundation of marital trust.

I’ll confess I have no idea what day of the week it was, or even the time of year. But, I remember the incident with absolute clarity – a day that had the most profound impact on my life.

Doug and I had been married for a year, maybe two, and he was well-acquainted with all of my idiosyncrasies and soft spots. Although many areas of my broken heart had mended, all the years of trying to please a man who could not be pleased had manifested itself in an unbalanced, never-ending pursuit of personal perfection. Wherever I went, whatever I did, I was constantly looking for ways to improve myself, to stay out of trouble, to get it right. I sought to conceal every blemish, while simultaneously chastising myself for each and every insufficiency and then committing to do better.

 Even my preferred escape from a day’s stresses was a long soak in a soothing bubble-bath. Yes, my sweet respite represented a few more minutes in which I might add to my self-improvement duties, a little time spent filling my heart with the stories of incredible people with impressive testimonies. I would soak up tales of inspiration and feed my spirit on each and every devotional. I wanted to be the best me I could be, to know that my life had value and purpose. But in my heart, I believed that I would never ever be good enough.

In many, perhaps most cases, men do not realize how greatly they are needed. This world still needs kings.

 Men, your wives and children, your communities and your churches need men of passionate conviction and sure-footed purpose. We need leaders who exhibit godly character and demonstrate fearless leadership. We are hungry for those who would be our guardians and moral gatekeepers.

Too often men fail to soberly recognize and embrace the weight of responsibility, opportunity and privilege that falls on them alone, the gift of genuine masculinity that has the potential to carry with it a seal, a crest, a banner of honor, a crown. This culture, this society, this dark place desperately needs men of unwavering moral conviction, men prepared to set the example of spiritual excellence, of faithfulness, of passionate truth and unbridled courage.